的 蓝色的论坛 is your place to learn about all things Covenant and keep up with stories from campus and beyond. By guiding you through the different aspects of Covenant, we'll help you decide if you want to pursue your very own Covenant experience.
海洋与悲伤
Four years before I arrived at Covenant, I was preparing for my first patrol on a 378-foot Coast Guard cutter in the Bering Sea.
总而言之，我不是典型的圣约学生会。 I did four years in the Coast Guard right out of high school as a kid who barely knew how to shave my peach fuzz. 的 Coast Guard was where I first heard about the PCA,but more importantly it was where the Lord took my heart from the “do-re-mi” of “Jesus Loves Me” to the “jazz” of Jesus loves me. And anyone who has been around Jesus for a while knows the incredible simplicity and vast depth of his love. I entered the Coast Guard as a deeply insecure boy and completed my duty in April 2021 as a man who found great strength in my weakness.
这些重要的里程碑塑造了我今天的信仰：
- Going to bootcamp as a seventeen-year-old kid where I was introduced to a world of chaos and brokenness
- 被分配到驻扎在华盛顿西雅图的巡逻艇上
- Coming face to face with the reality of sin and suffering—the darkest season of depression in my life where I became entrenched in pornography, soul-searing doubt about God, and body image issues
- 成为弗吉尼亚州约克镇的一名损害控制员
- 与信徒会面，他们向我展示了福音文化和福音教义之间的深刻联系
- 在新泽西州开普梅接受培训，成为一名消防员和急救人员
- Grappling for the first time with seeing someone die, and having the opportunity to rub shoulders with unbelievers in a way that deeply shaped my faith
- Becoming a member of a Baptist church full of honest, steadfast, and repentant believers who created an environment where I was able to be honest and open
回想起来，最让我印象深刻的是舱底的经历。 的 bilge on ship was terribly gross and dirty; yet what made life in the Coast Guard harder than ever was the loneliness. 的re was a “bilge” in my own life which produced much suffering, both physically and spiritually. I was taxed in a way that caused me to feel desperate and utterly alone in the universe with no true companion to saving grace. 但我不会拿这些经历换任何东西。 I love theology and prayer books, yet nothing has taught me theology or prayer like the bilge. 的 Lord caused my heart to come alive to Scripture.
我明白了你不需要走很远就能找到生活的真谛。 It came home with me. 我仍然在深深的失落和孤独中挣扎。 Yet as a believer, I have tasted how death or sin will never have the last word. 我们为基督而活。 在他的复活中，我们找到了复活。 It is a joy to realize that life is not all about me; 这是关于他的。 It is the most beautiful thing in the world to live in the glorious, magnificent story of the One who has entered the darkest nights of our bilge.
One of the beauties of the Christian life is that the hard times are all redeemable in the hands of the Good Shepherd. I often find myself wrestling with doubt and sin, but I have learned to say sooner: Lord, help! In the last six years, I’ve learned to cultivate an open heart to the Lord, even when that involves doubts. I have been so blessed to be in the Covenant community. I have asked myself many times, who am I to sit one on one with Dr. Wingard for a weekly breakfast? Or sit under Dr. Macallister’s lectures? 我是谁，凭什么喜欢来自不同背景的人？
我在海岸警卫队的经历塑造了我在威尼斯人平台的学习方式。 And Covenant has helped me connect many of the dots between my head and heart. I wouldn’t trade my time in the Coast Guard for anything. It is where the Lord took me out to sea to remind me that I will never be lost in his grip; I will always have a Good Shepherd leading me and guiding me.