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最近的MAT毕业生：埃莉·汤普森25岁
从本科到硕士教学
了解自己意味着什么？ This is a question that I found myself asking throughout the past year, as I've been navigating the transition of life stages—from my undergrad at Covenant to the master's program. In an attempt to locate myself in all of this, I've reflected on who I have been, and I've tried to discover who I am becoming. 我应该独立成长，步入现实世界。 当我思考这个自我的位置时，我遇到了一些痛苦的紧张。 I would look to others for the hope of some affirmation of who I was: a teacher commends my risk-taking in a lesson, a friend compliments my passion, my sister affirms my character.
唉，我发现自己不相信他们。 Rather, I perceive myself to be overly concerned with my image—prideful—and quite frankly, I often feel like a husk of a person going through the motions of life. 那么我是谁呢？ 我是一个充满激情的好老师吗？ 学生吗? 女儿吗? 还是说我只是个为了生存而表演的躯壳？
别人的肯定vs上帝的肯定
In his book 被门徒, the former Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, explores this unfortunate identity crisis we often find ourselves in. His answer to this question of "which is me?" is rather blunt. 他说：“我一点头绪都没有。 上帝必须解决这个问题。” I don’t know about you, but that does not necessarily make me feel at ease about this whole introspective debate I find myself in. But he continues: “What does it mean to have my identity in the hands of God?” 的 truth is: my identity goes beyond what I am able to see or know. 在他的眼中，我比我所意识到的更重要。 For good or not, God in His mercy sees me in a unifying gaze of love. He connects all the loose bits of myself that I cannot successfully locate and piece together in the ways that I want to.
上帝统一的爱的凝视的体现
不过，老实说，当我想到上帝统一的爱的凝视时，我很感动。 真的，听起来很美。 But at the same time, I'm not quite sure what that even means. 它听起来和感觉起来都是抽象和无形的。 And yet, this year the MAT program has revealed that I tend to be oblivious to the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father.
圣灵在最容易被忽视的时刻动工：
- Dr. Lindsey Fain reassuring me that the lesson I just taught made her proud, even though I felt completely embarrassed and discouraged.
- 艾米·巴格比医生一直在为我们这群疲惫不堪的人祈祷。
- Dr. Jim Drexler practicing his teachings of love and logic and inviting us into his home to share a meal.
- Mandy Sukha, our beloved classmate, getting the cohort to chip in to get treats for a classmate who had had a hard time.
It is in these moments where the Spirit makes tangible this singular gaze of God's love. 这样的时刻在威尼斯人平台日常生活中无处不在。 的re are moments that I am learning to recognize and cherish as embodiments of God’s tender mercies, which are new every morning. Through these moments, I am emboldened to relinquish this incessant need to have control over knowing who I am. Rather, I can take comfort in knowing that that impossible task is in the capable hands of a Creator who loves and cherishes me. With this freedom, I can step forward into a terrifying new season of life and love my students in the ways I have been delightfully loved and known.