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定义“野心”这个词
Back in the days of “what do you want to be when you grow up,” I declared myself a future missionary. I don’t know why I thought traveling would be a good idea since a twenty-minute car ride felt like a long journey to me. But I mentioned the idea excitedly to my parents, describing the places I would travel and the things I would share with others.
在这个充满梦想的年代，我参观了父亲的办公大楼。 He introduced me to a coworker, who gestured me over to a map on the wall.
“他是个传教士，”我父母解释说。 的 missionary pointed to the places he’d traveled to share the gospel on the map, tracing a finger across an empty gulf of blue.
“阿比盖尔，告诉他你长大后想做什么！”爸爸鼓励我。 I stared at the map.
“……厨师，”我说。
当我们离开时，妈妈弯下腰问我：“这是从哪里来的？” I thought you wanted to be a missionary.” I explained that I had since edited my future dreams and already gone through several more possible careers. This was the first of many occasions of dropped dreams, forgotten interests, and flakey ambition.
当前的文化中充满了野心。 Many young people work hard to gain knowledge and achieve honorable goals. Good stories are 驱动 by characters full of a powerful desire to succeed in amazing, heroic ways. Although ambition can sometimes be a bad thing when it is twisted for an ungodly purpose, I’ve also realized that it can be a very good thing, and I’ve admired the quality in others.
的re are so many occasions in my life where I wished that I had the ambition to do crazy things with the time given to me. When I read about or witness people who succeed because they are truly 驱动 to achieve something good, like go to law school, publish a novel, or change the world in some small but significant way, it makes me want to have that sort of determination as well.
但是，我想起了挫折，问题，标准，还有 失败 任何大目标都是如此。 Rather than having some magical bravery to stand up to those things, I feel daunted by the idea of how easy it is to get way off-track with any kind of goal, and ashamed that I don’t have the “dream” or the “work ethic” to get something done. 简而言之：我的野心就像一块湿漉漉的金鱼饼干。
This semester, I have made the discovery that there might actually be two types of ambition. 一是追求和征服一个令人钦佩的目标的决心。 的 other is a teeny-tiny ambition. 我只能把它描述为一种带有宽容目标的野心。 It is the ambition without limits and comparison: a life-long ambition where the end is a loving and forgiving savior.
我的抱负是每天早上醒来。 吃好吃的。 To have good conversations with people. 学习新事物。 As someone who doesn’t know where I want to end up after college (or even during college), my ambition is to gain the skills I need for whatever God has planned in the future, and to trust that he will equip me. This takes plenty of hard work and determination (especially the waking up in the morning bit). 我认为你需要两种野心来形成平衡。 的 ambition to trust in God, serve others, and enjoy his creation fuels the desire to take on projects, face fears, and make changes.
No matter how many times I change my mind about what I want to work towards and what I should spend my time on, everything I do is for a purpose. God is equipping all of us for the ways we can serve his kingdom, and the path to the “goal” is anything but straight.
本文最初发表于2022年2月25日的《 的风笛.